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This story from TMCnet.com, “iovation Significantly Reduces Fraud and Abuse for Online Dating Community” reveals technology used by iovation to block the devices linked to fraud and other abuse will now be implemented by at least one online dating service. This should cut down on the instances of online dating website fraud and scams, at least on the dating site that will be using the system, tremendously. 

While hackers and scammers eventually find ways around whatever new things are in place to stop them, for now, the system patented by iovation sounds promising. If it shows good results over the next six to twelve months, perhaps other online dating websites will begin to implement its use as well. 

Today’s Question is for those who read the article at TMCnet.com: What do you see as the pros and cons of iovation’s technology being implemented into online dating website systems? 

Photo © Chance Agrella - www.freerangestock.com

Yesterday, I blogged about the top mistakes made by men in online dating. Today, as promised, I am blogging about the top mistakes made by women in online dating. 

From Yahoo Personals, comes this great article titled, 14 Fatal Online Dating Errors That Women Make. The article was written by David Wygant. 

Almost every item on the list is something my male friends and dates have told me they run into frequently in online dating. These things drive them crazy. 

The second great article I found about the mistakes women make in online dating is called, 10 Mistakes Women Make Dating Online, and comes from BumpShack.com. It was written by Evan Marc Katz. 

This list is just that – a list. Very straight forward with no explanations given. The article does include a link to view the author’s explanations, but when I tried the link, it was not working. 

While I don’t know that I necessarily agree with everything in the second list, it is representative of how many men I have encountered think, so I would give it at least some credence. 

Today’s Question: What do YOU think about the mistakes lists? What mistakes would you add or delete?

Photo © Chance Agrella - www.freerangestock.com

Today and tomorrow, I will be blogging about the top mistakes men and women make in online dating. Today, I am blogging about the top mistakes men make with women in online dating. I have found two helpful videos online that list the top mistakes and explain why they are mistakes.

I found this short and informative video for men made by a man. This gentleman also offers free newsletters. The almost five-minute video is called Top Ten Mistakes Men Make in Online Dating and is by NicoPrincely. 

Online Dating Mistakes by Dan and Jennifer (uncut and uncensored) is the unedited version of the making of video advice session for men by DanandJen. There is great advice in it, if you can get past the bloopers at the beginning of this almost thirteen-minute video. 

While every woman is different, I agree that the mistakes listed in both videos are among the most common I have seen and been told about by my female friends. I think the bottom line is to be honest, be yourself, and be respectful. 

Today’s Question: What do YOU think about the mistakes lists? What mistakes would you add or delete?

Photo by Chance Agrella - www.freerangestock.com

This is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek post for those online daters who just really need a chuckle. The following contain a little bit of humor as well as a little bit of reality. Overall, they illustrate that what you read in a profile is not always what you get with the person behind it.

First up, this humorous entry from InnocentEnglish.com that translates what some keywords in online dating profiles really mean.

Next, we have a blog from Torto and Friends that lists one person’s translation of what certain keywords really mean.

From ApprovedArticles.Com we have this more serious article the breaks down common profile phrasing and then gives translations and advice about the phrases.

The design section of this t-shirt ad from Zazzle.com further illustrates commonly misleading statements found in online profiles.

*Note: I am in no way affiliated with Zazzle.com and I am not encouraging the purchase of this t-shirt by linking to it in this post. I have included it in the post purely for entertainment purposes.

In my own life I have most commonly seen the misleading use of the terminology related to body build, incorrect ages listed, misleading statements revolving around marital status, and misleading statements regarding what type of a relationship (if any) the person in question is seeking.

Today’s Question: What are the top three words or phrases that you have found to be most commonly misused/to be misleading in online dating profiles?

Photo © Chance Agrella - www.freerangestock.com

A link from Topix.com lead me to an article from The Canadian titled, Privacy and Online Dating are not Mutually Exclusive.

The article turned out to be more of a sale pitch for an online dating site, than a discussion about privacy in dating websites. What was being advertised was type of security feature offered by the dating website.

The site offers references from friends and family, and claims that this helps keep profiles honest and can give daters a sense of security in regards to whom they are dating.

No offense is intended here, but how many times have we all seen news reports that include interviews with friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers of individuals who have committed crimes stating that they never thought the person in question was capable of such things or that they will never believe the facts uncovered in intense police and the prosecution’s investigation.

My point is that while having a friend or family member state they think the person in question is fabulous, it does not truly amount to a hill of beans as friends and family members can be completely biased. Some swear by this method, while others have been misled by it. Anyone utilizing such features should do so with caution.

If you want security features, try out online dating websites that run background checks as part of the service. These sites only check the basics, such as verifying their name, age, divorce status, and city of residence, but that much can give you a solid foundation from which to start.

When it comes to evaluating others, in my experience, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure – so the person whose opinion and insights count the most would be yours. How does the person in question treat you? How do they act around you? Do they seem evasive or open? Do they seem to be hiding something? Do they respect your wishes when it comes to getting acquainted or are they trying to rush you? Trust your judgment, do not take things at face value, and ask a lot of questions.

On the topic of privacy, there are sites that allow you to use a username rather than your real name, though not all do. There are also sites that allow you to input your location as it displays on your profile. Many women I know, and myself, have used this feature to help maintain our privacy and security by typing in general location descriptors rather than actual city names. Nevertheless, not all sites will allow you to do this.

The bottom line is that when it comes to your own security and privacy, there are no absolute guarantees, but you can come close to creating one with the wise choices you make in your own online dating experiences.

Today’s Question: When it comes to listing your location on your online dating website profile, what do you list? If you use a descriptor, please share it with us here.

Photo © Chance Agrella - www.freerangestock.com

Several months ago I was reading a blog that mentioned a site that allows you to create your own online dating matching quiz which you may then post on your blogs, websites, and social networking pages. It is generated by the answers you give to the basic quiz.

I thought this sounded interesting, so I took it. However, there are a few things I discovered after I took it:

• It is part of a free ‘dating/hookup’ site. You can take the test independently, but it is part of the site, which offers a plethora of staff and user created quizzes.
• The site is very representative of the people in the world around us. It is very ‘open’ which means that some of the questions in the quiz are very ‘open’ as well. If you are easily offended, do not take the quiz.
• If you take the quiz, you have the option to just skip (not answer) any questions you don’t like or don’t want to answer. You will not be ‘penalized’ or given a ‘sorry, you must answer all the questions’ prompt.
• If I recall correctly, the quiz seemed to go on forever.

In hindsight, this is how I think it is set up:

• As it is part of the site, your results are also used on the site. I may have had to set up a basic profile for the quiz – I cannot remember and I have auto login so it wont let me see it from a non-member view.

• The site uses this quiz for its own matching, too. Because of this, you have to answer a set number of questions before it is statistically determined that you can get adequate matching results.

• You can take the quiz in chunks as you have time – you don’t have to do it all at once.

• At some point you will have generated your own ‘Match Me’ quiz and be given code to use in your blogs, websites, and social networking pages. Others who click on these links will be given the quiz generated for YOU in order to see how well they match up with YOU.

If you would like to create your own online dating matching quiz, you may do so here: Ok Cupid Match Me Quiz

If you want to see what a completed quiz looks like, you may take my quiz here: Dani’s Ok Cupid Match Me Quiz

*NOTE: The quiz is free, and I don’t get anything for you creating your own quiz or taking mine. I listed mine only so you could see what a completed one looks like before committing to creating your own - which, as stated in the blog post, could be a bit time-consuming.
Today’s Question is for those who checked out/took one or both quizzes: What do you think of the quiz(zes)? Pros/cons and likes/dislikes. Please indicate about which quiz you are commenting.

Photo © Chance Agrella - www.freerangestock.com

A review of Topix.com led me to this article from the SeacoastOnline.com about a man who is offering cash to the woman who will agree to be his bride.

In the interview for the article, Charles Haberle of Maine states that he has tried multiple tactics including online dating websites with no real luck. He has changed his strategy and now has ads in the newspaper and online at craigslist.org seeking the right woman to be his wife. As a bonus to the lucky woman, he is offering cash incentives.

More information is in the article from SeacoastOnline.com including Mr. Haberle’s email address for those who feel they may be a match for him.

As Mr Haberle’s story illustrates, there is more than one way to try to find a match through online means. While he is using craigslist.org in order to advertise, others regularly use social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace, ShoutLife, and Yahoo in order to find potential matches - though I would not advise offering cash or prizes.

Offline, there are the traditional methods of church, hobby groups, and bars (not recommended due to typically poor results). Also available are singles groups, singles activities sponsored by various organizations, and speed-dating – to mention a few.

Statistically speaking, the more means you use to find a great match, the better your chances for success.

Today’s Question: Besides online dating websites, what other means of finding a great match are YOU utilizing?

Photo © Lynn Davis - www.freerangestock.com

Today, Topix.com had an excerpt and link to this article from South East Asia News.net titled, “Online Dating First Empowers, Then Disappoints”. [Friday, May 23, 2008]

The premise of the article is that in the online dating world people are given a false sense of reality and tend to become emotionally involved with an internet persona which usually do not match the reality of who the person is with whom they are communicating. When that realization hits, it is emotionally devastating.

Personally, I think it is a problem with people having unrealistic expectations and not using good judgment moreso than it is a problem with online dating, per se. What I have observed is that these same people also tend to jump into being emotionally involved with people they barely meet in real life or have only dated once. Those with good judgment who wait until they really know a person before becoming emotionally involved will hold true to that behavior regardless of the meeting or dating circumstances.

Today’s Question: What do YOU think about online dating and emotional devastation?

Image © Daniella Nicole

In this news article from Online Dating Magazine are details about the free 4-day holiday weekend trials being offered by online dating powerhouse sites eHarmony and PerfectMatch.

If you try one or both sites, be sure to read all the fine print of each offer before joining, and be sure you have plenty of free time over the holiday weekend to make the most of the trial offer.

Also take note of the profile removal process, if you decide after the free trial that you no longer want to have a profile on one or both sites. Some sites allow you to remove your profile easily online, while others require a phone call. In either case be prepared to explain why you want to leave the site, and for some form of sales pitch designed to get you to stay.

In some cases, a reduced membership fee may be offered that is not offered through other means.

Today’s Question: If you take advantage of the free trial(s), please come back here and comment about your experience. What did you like and dislike about the sign up process, the offer, and the results of the trial?

Photo © Lynn Davis - www.freerangestock.com 

According to this Computerworld article, Queensland (Australia) Police are taking action against online scammers coming out of Nigeria. 

The article quotes Brian J Hay, Detective Superintendent for the Queensland Police Fruad and Corporate Crime Group as saying about the criminals behind online scams, “ . . . We see them using black market Web portals and are working closely with other groups to assist the facilitation of these activities and unfortunately the biggest one is the romance scams. We see a great deal of energy being placed into victimizing online dating processes.” He later states, in the same article, “The dating scams are worst type as the people are emotionally distraught and it is the most rapidly evolving and is growing the fastest.” 

Australian Police are working in conjunction with the Nigeria’s EFCC, having classified the online scams as “Advance Fee Frauds”. 

To find out more, please read this fascinating article, “QLD, Nigeria partner with industry to combat million dollar cybercrime. Lovesick Queenslanders still falling prey to Nigerian scammers.” by Rodney Gedda (Techworld Australia). It was published online with Computerworld on 22/05/2008 at 10:50:06. 

I have seen dating website scams coming out of Nigeria most commonly referred to as “419 Scams”.  This article from Dangers Of Internet Dating details more about the basic online dating scam. 

Here in the United States, the government’s Department of State Website has information about Nigeria and crimes coming out of the country. The information includes a warning for anyone traveling to the country. This report from the Overseas Security Advisory Council dated March 31, 2008, includes a lot of great information about the various Advance Fee Scams, including some interesting conversations between potential scammers and their intended victims. Some of the conversations are a bit humorous. 

On one website I used to belong to, a member would routinely post his IM Chat logs of conversations initiated by possible scammers. It caught on and soon several others began doing the same. Some of the conversations were indeed amusing, though I would never recommend conversing with a suspected scammer. 

For information listed by country as to how to report or get help with a Nigerian 419 Scam, please see this webpage from the 419 Coalition Website. The countries listings begin about midway down the page. 

Please note that Nigeria is the not the only country from which scammers operate. 

Today’s Question: How would you like to see the scams handled by authorities?