onlinedating

 Photo © Chance Agrella - www.freerangestock.com

One thing I have noticed from my years of using online dating websites is the hesitancy of many to reveal certain important aspects of their lives to potential dates. One of these almost-taboo topics is less-than-perfect health. 

I have discovered that there are more people in the dating scene who deal with serious health issues than I ever imagined. I have become acquainted with men and women with cancer, high blood pressure, heart conditions, diabetes, amputated limbs, hearing loss, bipolar disorder, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus, neuralgia, celiac disease, HIV, and a few who were dying. 

Most of these people dated. The one who did not was dying and did not want to leave a loved one behind to mourn him. Some found love – and passed away. Some found love and married. To my knowledge, they are still quite happily together. Some are still single, but actively looking while living a full life. 

I am chronically ill, and while I do not wish to be defined by it, it is indeed a relevant aspect of my life. The two most common questions I have immediately been asked by men to whom I have revealed my illness have been if I can be an active sex partner and if I can still bear children. That reaction and line of questioning has caused me some frustration and disappointment. 

In this article by Yvonne K. Fulbright, some common myths and misperceptions about those who are ill and disabled are busted. The topic is primarily about matters of intimacy, but valid points about love and other types of intimacy are discussed as well. 

Today’s Questions:

1-      If you are ill or disabled: At what point do you reveal this fact to potential dates?

2-      To everyone (please note if you are ill or disabled in your comment): How willing are you to date someone who is ill or disabled; and what are your thoughts and feelings behind that decision?

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