onlinedating

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I saw this video clip of an interview with author Linda Franklin about her website for “Cougars”. Cougar is the slang term given to women who date or marry younger men. However, Linda is trying to redefine the word to mean a woman over 40 who has her act together, with no association to the age of her dates or significant other. Good luck with that, I say.

The word cougar is already well-established in its meaning, and no amount of trying to dress it up will change that. Her website is for Cougars only, though she states there is a large waiting list of ‘Cougar-hunters’. A cougar hunter is a younger man seeking an older woman for dating/romance, intimacy, and/or marriage. Even Linda implies this definition in her interview, which contradicts her claims that a cougar has nothing to do with the age difference.

There is a general rule of thumb when it comes to dating younger – for men and women – which is that half your age plus 7 is the minimum age you can date and not appear to be a perverted sicko. For example, a 40 year old could get away with dating someone 27years of age or older. For a 50 year old, the minimum age would be 32. For Hugh Hefner, it would be 48. For some reason, I don’t think Hugh Hefner much cares about such things. He is not alone, as there are women who date and marry below such a minimum age standard.

A few older woman/younger man couples include Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins, Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher, Juliet Mills/Maxwell Caulfield, Melanie Griffith/Antonio Banderas, and Madonna/Guy Ritchie.

Though I tend to like older men, my personal rule of thumb has been if they are closer in age to my offspring than they are to me, they are too young. Since my teen is approximately 24 years younger than myself, it would mean that anyone more than 12 years younger than myself is too young. My personal rule ups the minimum age from the half plus seven rule. Interestingly, even though I prefer older men, my former spouse is younger than me by about 18 months, and my former fiancee’ is younger than me by about a year. One of the men I dated since my divorce whom I had the most chemistry with is about 6 years younger. However, my first love was 3 years older. Am I a closet cougar?

Many of the women I know who are on online dating websites are very uncomfortable with being pursued by men significantly younger than they are. The biggest question has been along the lines of what a 23 year old studmuffin could possibly want from a 38 year old divorced mother of three. The answer seems to be “experienced sex”, though I am told “experienced sex” is not the primary motivator for all cougar hunters.

This brings us to today’s question: What are YOUR thoughts and feelings on the topic of cougars and cougar hunters?

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